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Queue the dramatic fire. Curse this flammable turf!

I watched this great Lindsay Ellis video on the Hobbit films, and now I really want to go rewatched LotR (and travel to New Zealand).

I also watched X-Men Apocalypse over the weekend, and it’s kind of unintentionally hilarious? I mean, let’s just not even go into the myriad of continuity gaffes which are essentially a feature of the franchise at this point. Firstly, I watched it with someone who has zero knowledge of the X-men films, so trying to explain what was going on was a real trip, this is not a standalone film in the slightest. And secondly, how many times can Magneto go from wanting to wipe out all humanity to wanting to give them a chance? I think it happens every movie he’s in. And also, is the plot of every X-Men movie basically either a mutant wanting to wipe out/enslave all of humanity or a human wanting to wipe out/enslave all mutants? I’m pretty sure the answer is yes. So what I’m saying here is that the X-men movies are super tired and repetitive, outside of Logan, which I love dearly (even if he does get killed by a tree). But it’s all a moot point now that Disney owns the X-men, I guess!

Also, wow, there are a lot of blue X-men, aren’t there? Beast, Mystique, Nightcrawler, they’re all on a plane together and yet not a single gag about how they’re all blue. Missed opportunity!

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  • Kid Chaos

    Two against one…and none of them is Yorikiro. Now don’t get me wrong, I respect Genchu and Masuhiro’s badass creds, but come on, man; it’s gotta be Yori v. Honou-ko in the end, right? RIGHT??? *sigh* 😵

    On a lighter note, READY PLAYER ONE, BITCHES!!! Sorry, I just saw it today and had to get that out of my system. Yes, they changed a lot from the book, but it’s not a bad thing. Really a great movie, and that last scene with Parzival and Halliday, man…great stuff. 10/10. 😎

    • clogboy

      He’s going to learn about sacrifice some more.
      Or… force Nataku and big samurai dude to withdraw once they have his brother hostage. Who would, might I add, be a nice addition to the main case.

      • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

        But we need at least some antagonists to offset all the protagonists, right??

        • clogboy

          So Eji on Team Ina – not gonna happen?
          Ofcourse not, he despises Yori. But he could work against Nataku to make his father see reason. But that doesn’t make Ken not want to kill him though. hmm opportunities, opportunities… :)

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      I’m sure I’ll see Ready Player One at some point. I listened to the Wil Wheaton audiobook version several years ago, but I don’t remember all that much other than some sporadic details.

      Maybe I’ll watch 102 Not Out when it comes to Netflix.

      • Kid Chaos

        Make the time for “Ready Player One”; you won’t be disappointed. 😎

  • Joe Wagner

    Its not a gag- there just was a sale on blue and green ink- and the Hulk took up too much of the green, hence, blue characters.

    • Nos Rin aka CTCO

      I want to believe this is true.

    • clogboy

      Since they ditched the old uniforms I’m sure they would’ve had a batch of yellow lying around…

  • multilis

    Darth Maul fights 2 Jedi at once

  • Crestlinger

    Only chance I can see Anyone having with that guy is his diminished peripheral vision due to the helmet, side stab the neck just under it.

    • clogboy

      That might be the only edge they got.
      In order of awesomness I’d put Yori at a 7/10, Lord Senshin at 8, Genchu 9-9.5, Tadashii a perfect 10, and Honou-Ko at a prodigy masters degree with honours. While Tadashii could kill a bunch of soldiers WITH A BROKEN SWORD faster than it takes to think ‘exhale’, Honou-Ko knows how to dual wield longer than Yori knows how to walk.

      I’d definitely combat-roll past his swords, bash the back of his helmet with the hilt of my sword and do some damage to his legs.

      • Ocean Burning.

        Yori has definitely come a long way since the beginning of the comic, hasn’t he? Out of curiosity, why do you rate Tadashii higher than Genchu?

        • clogboy

          Three reasons. The first reason (his sword prowess) was already mentioned in my previous comment. The other concerns his flawless sense of honor which is a strong driving force. Don’t underestimate a man who knows what he’s fighting for.
          The third is that the only time I’ve seen him lose, was because he permitted himself to lose in order to make a point, and to teach Yori a lesson in sacrifice.

          • fantastory

            He lost to Genchu.
            http://nn4b.com/comic/147
            But I think he took that lesson very seriously.
            He did lost to Yori because of short sword – not because he was overall weaker.

          • clogboy

            I’m going to cop out here, and say that Tadashii’s sense of blind servitude was changed for a more prudent approach on that day. Tadashii’s honor and loyalty were strengthened. When up against Yori, yes his short sword did play a part, but if Tadashii wanted to indulge his swordmanship rather than respect what he saw as the intent of his orders, then the outcome might’ve been different.
            First he would’ve simply died defending his Lord, now he realized he was simply a sacrificial pawn for the future of the Wataro clan, and played the part without reservations. And so ended Tadashii’s tragic story.

  • Ocean Burning.

    Yeah! Go Team Genchu and Masuhiro! You guys got that team action posing thing going on real strong, looks good. Keep it up!

    • Turul

      Two single wielders versus a dual wielder, clearly that must be fair!

  • LordBolanderFace

    Guys, guys, GUYS! You know it never works out when an NPC takes on a boss character! Flee while you still have the chance!

    • Purphoros

      Just a few times it would be nice if it did work… Not only would it be absolutely hilarious, the precedents would remove one of these stupid narrative rules that make most stories so awfully predictable.

  • Nos Rin aka CTCO

    i got the last 3 x-men movies on blu-ray on black friday events, have yet to watch a single one.
    x-men are super cool but have never really gotten my love, unlike the justice league material.

    • clogboy

      I credit you for enjoying the JL movies; they don’t make it easy.
      Just dawned on me that Apocalypse is the best opportunity to see Katnis and Sansa in the same movie :) Not that it should mean much, but back then they were up and coming promising actors in landmark roles before they hit the main stream.

      • Nos Rin aka CTCO

        Oh. Uhm. Sorry. But I didn’t.
        See I LOVED the Justice Leage Animated Series and Justice League Unlimited Animated Series when I was in highschool.
        the new Live Action JL movie wasn’t exactly bad but it was, it was just so… underwhelming. SIGH.
        the characters weren’t too bad but it was just. SIGH.
        I waited so many Freaking years, over a decade at least, to finally have a live action Justice League film and what we got was just……. SIGH.

        As for the animated stuff almost of all of it is just amazing. Doom is kind of my favorite.
        the ending is great although could have maybe been better with a slight change, but that’s my own personal opinion. One day I should get the novel it’s based on.

        • clogboy

          OK we’re pretty much on the same page here then, minus me never seen the JL animations. But I am a fan of all the different Injustice endings, and the dynamic between Batman and Superman, in the sense that Bats has a plan to end every single one of them in case they go rogue, and he relies on Kal-El to do the same for him. It’s interesting how they’re not only just a team, but also a moral compass and safeguard for eachother, and in that way it makes sense that Bruce wanted to appoint Diana leader of the group

          I digress. When it comes to origin movies for superhero teams, I believe X-men – Days of Future Past did it better. And then I’m not talking about the futuristic time travel stuff, but the story with Dinklage’s character (although I believe he could’ve done him more convincingly; this man only seems to have one character and that’s Tyrion and small, diluted variations on it – even in Pixels he was more interesting), the Sentinels, and oldschool Logan. But for me the true star was Quicksilver.

          • Nos Rin aka CTCO

            I guess I’ll watch those x-men movies eventually.
            I highly recommend checking out the animated films DC has been putting out. There’s a lot of gold out there. A pretty old one is New Frontier, came out before 2010 I think, a sort of 40-50s era film. Superman goes down right at the beginning leaving the other heroes to figure shit out since they lost their heavy hitter.
            Batman also has a Really scary line he gives to Martian Manhunter. Definitely worth a watch.

            As for origin stories. I’m really tired of them. so damn tired.
            at this point people can just google or wiki or read a comic to figure out stuff.
            the part before heroes get their powers in these movies should be 30 minutes tops out of a 2+ hour long film. or better yet, a throw away comment when someone asks. “oh ya, got bit by a spider.” “what” “it was radioactive or something.”
            or.
            “I think one of my parents was an alien.”

            and then just get on with the sweet sweet action. XD

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      I have a soft spot for the first X-men movie, I dug it back in the day. Didn’t like X-2 half as much, and it’s been diminishing returns since then. I loved Logan, and I thought First Class and Days of Future Past were alright! I guess I also kinda liked The Wolverine, but I think mostly because it took place in Japan. I never saw Deadpool, that would probably be my favorite if I did…

      • Nos Rin aka CTCO

        YOU HAVENT SEEN DEADPOOL?!
        …….
        I’m sorry but, just, please, if you can, find time WATCH IT. Like I have no idea how busy you are but seriously. awesome film. gotta watch it!
        could it have been better? Ya, I guess so but, given all the issues it had to finally be made, it was good for what we got.
        if that makes sense.

        I’m not sure how I feel about the wolverine. i only saw parts of it in a dentist office and I’ve never had any interest in the character and the reviews I heard is they tried to tone him down while dc was grittying up superman and… I dont know.
        I might eventually watch first class and days of future past, I fellt X-1 through 3 were all meh. but that’s me.

        As for Logan…….. from what I read on the plot, ya, no thanks, not for me.
        especially because of A) who killed him and B) how he died, omg so stupid in my opinion as a wannabe writer. >_> people tell me I am wrong for thinking that especially since I didnt see it but it just sounds incredibly uncreative to me.

        I don’t know. I am super excited for the new deadpool though, even though I was kind of hoping Ron Perlman could have been Cable, oh well.

        • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

          I will only watch Deadpool if you watch Logan.

          • Nos Rin aka CTCO

            Dude. that’s dirty. 😛

            and you said you’d probably like deadpool. >_>
            fine, maybe I’ll give it a look, but man, that ending. >_<
            of ALLLL the villains in the entire marvel universe THAT is the one they decided to use?! a little more creativity would have been nice!

          • TekServer

            I hope you’ve found time in the last 4 years to watch Deadpool, and the sequel. For any that haven’t, I’ll only say that unlike X-3, the Deadpool team portrayed Juggernaut correctly.
            😀

      • clogboy

        You don’t even need to see the opening credits for me to know that you will absolutely positively love it, but here they are anyway:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MjyGL0go60

  • Turul

    I don’t think Tadashii’s going to have a lot to say to that. Unless you ask via a medium I guess…

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Someone’s gotta stand up for the guy!

  • IDPounder

    That last panel is a wicked cool look. Also like the Starsky & Hutch pose for Masuhiro and Genchu!

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      There’s admittedly a lot of posing going on in this page.

  • Major Tom

    They got that anime fighting spirit! The kind with passion so hot and fierce that it sets the world around them ablaze!

  • clogboy

    I don’t much like this April Fool’s page… 😉

    Re Apocalypse: at least it was still better than Justice League. They had basically the same plot as Suicide Squad and, dare I say, Avengers. Not to say it was bad, there are worse motivations than a world threatening God-like being for powered persons to unite, and you can’t really make a movie in that style without some in-fighting. But it’s not interesting when you take a group of people who are already at the top of their prowess. No, what really ruined JL was the sloppy editing and the jokes that didn’t work. Did I say lack of character development? You’d nearly say The Flash was the main character, and he outshone the others in almost every respect (including the other newcomers Aquaman and Cyborg). It had more potential.
    But Apocalypse? I did enjoy the hell out of it, it wasn’t great, and it took itself too serious to be funny (yet not serious enough to warrant better effects). But in spite of its flaws it felt balanced and it excelled where it needed to. Not memorable, but clever and coherent.

    DC has yet to produce a movie that nails that, other than Wonder Woman.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Honestly, the entire point of Apocalypse seems to be to get the new ‘young’ version of the cast back to the same point where we first met their old versions in the original film, except now with a massive amount of nonsense plot baggage tagged on. I still enjoyed watching it, though. My favorite part might have been the crazy Egyptian opening because it gave me strong Stargate vibes. But overall Apocalypse felt like a very tired movie retreading the same ground as all the previous films ad nauseam. Outside of Logan and Deadpool, which feel fresh and unique, I think the X-Men films ran out of ideas a decade ago.

  • TheMaskedFerret

    This is not going to end well for either of them, unless trope entropy is reversed. The Not-Official-Yet-Future Father-In-Law of the protagonist and the Mentor of the protagonist facing off against the final assassin sent to kill the protagonist? Not even including the conservation of ninjitsu principal, the narrative almost demands that they both die from this fight, or at least are both terribly injured before Yori steps in to defeat the scary demon-armored figure.

    Unless, of course, the two defeat him and then Matrix’s opposite steps in to ‘make things right’.

    Also waiting on Ken’s girlfriend the ninja to stab Nataku in the back.

    And kidnapping in the middle of battle. It shall be glorious.

    • clogboy

      HONOU-KO IS MATRIX’S OPPOSITE! The mask makes sense now!

      • Ocean Burning.

        Whoa!!!!!

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      >_>

      • TheMaskedFerret

        Did I over analyze it or something? 😉
        Tropes are strong – defeat them!

  • Mike Sanders

    mmm, just noticed, but it occurs to me Oni-Mask whose name escapes me is doing a stupid. crossed arms no good for sword fight.

    • Tim “Azur3flame” Eldred

      I thought about that too, but he’s supposed to be incredibly skilled at dual-wielding and his whole motif is GRRRR SCARY INTIMIDATION RAAAAAR. So an “eff this, I’ll kill you both, come at me bros” pose just fits. Besides, a “what the hell is this guy thinking” stance is typically followed up with “what the hell were those moves” fighting. Or at least there better be, as it looks like the handles are pinning his arms to his midsection.

      • Mike Sanders

        that was my thoughts. it’s *still* two-on-one against two people we’ve seen be incredibly badass already. dad can out-ninja most of a ninja clan, literally with his arms behind his back, and teacher has been presumed dead on at least three occasions and come back to kick ass and take names.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      His overconfidence is his weakness!

      • Mike Sanders

        senpai noticed me again!
        see, I wasn’t sure about overconfidence. he *is* after all considered one of the best. arrogance, though. or perhaps just not actually needing to kill these two so much as delay them while someone *else* scoops up Yori.

  • fantastory

    Nah, he can not be that strong, can he?

    • Turul

      The famous last words…

      • fantastory

        :) did not remembered that :)

  • Madison Link

    So, they’re going to start a flame war, huh?

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