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Come on, Genchu! All Ken wants to do is suppress his more sensitive feelings by focusing on rage! Stop throwing excuses at him, geez.

 

For anyone expecting me to blab on about Justice League, I have not seen it. I don’t know if I will, as the DC films are a bunch of sloppy messes and the holidays have put limits on my free time! I do have a morbid sense of curiosity as to how the Snyder to Whedon chop job turned out, but if there is anything that may get me to see Justice League, it’s the news that Danny Elfman composed the soundtrack, and slipped in his ’89 Batman theme and John William’s classic Superman theme. I can get behind that.

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  • LordBolanderFace

    “I drew your face on every milk carton I could find, but nobody had seen you.”
    “If you really wanted to find me, you would have drawn it on sake bottles!”

    • LordBolanderFace
      • Ocean Burning.

        A perfect likeness!

      • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

        If you want to finish drawing the comic, I’d be okay with that! I’ll just send you the script.

        • LordBolanderFace

          I dunno about that. I do not draw with pencils. He who draws with pencils has forgotten the face of his father. I draw with words.

          A ray of sunlight warmed Ina as she reclined in her bed on the third floor of Masuhiro Senshin’s estate (castle? palace?), encouraging her to close her eyes and take another nap. Waking up from naps could be so tiring. No one would blame her for needing to rest a little after something like…
          A knock came from her door, and she sat up in surprise as it opened a crack and as an old, kindly face peeked in.
          “Would you like some tea, Ina?”
          Oh, what the hell?
          “Certainly, Misaki,” she answered, getting out of bed and kneeling in front of her table. The old woman smiled and came inside, taking the spot opposite the young princess, and poured them both a bowl.
          “As you know, your father has been working on a peace agreement with that brutish Wataro clan,” she said as Ina took a drink. “I heard the treaty has been finalized.”
          “That’s nice,” Ina replied, not having been listening. Politics bored her. She took another drink.
          “You’re going to wed the damyo’s eldest son!”
          Ina’s eyes sprang open, suddenly fully awake, and her mouthful of tea was suddenly all over the table in front of her– and the old lady’s face. Misaki barely seemed to notice, absentmindedly dabbing at her face with a napkin.
          Ina leaped to her feet. “I’m being forced to marry some guy I don’t know from a clan despised throughout Japan?”
          Misaki was wearing a dreamy smile, staring at the wall just above Ina’s head. “Oh, you’ll be such a cute couple!”
          Ina slammed her fists on the table. “Just so my father can ratify some stupid peace treaty?”
          “It’ll be the most incredible wedding!”
          “ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!”
          Misaki sighed. “And your mother picked out the cutest kimono for you!”

          • Nos Rin aka CTCO

            <3

          • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

            Phew, that’s great! How about the official NN4B Novelization? Mind you, I can’t actually pay you anything, other than my eternal joy (don’t do it, it’s a terrible offer).

          • LordBolanderFace

            I’ll novelize your comic is you comicize one of my novels!

          • LordBolanderFace

            Actually, that was pretty crappy. Here, let me try again…
            *ahem!*

            “Get out, get out, get out!”
            Despite the group’s abrupt and unexpected ejection from the theater, there was an air of lightheartedness between the four of them. Ken, most surprising of all, actually wore a smile as he shouldered his massive blade, wrapped in thick brown paper like the world’s most unholy Christmas present, and made his way down the street.
            “We were just kicked out by THE Ennosuke Nakamura!” he cackled, fist pumping the air in manic triumph.
            “Some professional,” Yori remarked with a roll of his eyes. “He didn’t even let us stay for an encoure.”
            Before he could take another step, the young samurai found his path blocked by a princess– a very cranky princess.
            “Well, Mr. Wataro,” Ina’s voice carried venom when she said his name, “it seems we have a much more pressing matter to discuss. When exactly were you planning on dropping this little bombshell of yours?”
            Yori gave her a sheepish smile. “Well, um…”
            “And why has Ken –whose clan was obliterated by yours– not killed you five times over?”
            “Yeah, about that…”
            Ken threw his arm around Yori’s shoulder, giving him a chilling grin. “Simple! I’m gonna kill his old man, and L’il Wataro’s my meal ticket!”
            Ina shook her head, groaning, and pointed at the blind monk who was standing nearby, smiling with blissful unawareness. “Wonderful! And I suppose our blind friend has some horrible past that’s going to swim up and bite us in the ass at the worst possible moment too?”
            Cho raised a finger. “Actually–”
            “BROTHER CHO!”
            As one, the gang spun around to find that the street they were on was deserted, save for two black silhouettes framed by the setting sun. Together, the two figures advanced on them, revealing shaved heads, black flowing robes, and small, squinty eyes were laser-focused on the pointy hatted monk.
            “Brother Wu! Brother Tang!” Cho exclaimed, taking an instinctive step backwards.
            “Brother Cho, you realize your very presence here threatens us all?” said the one who had spoken before. His words were as hard as the stones Bunzo threw.
            “Who are these guys?” Yori asked, looking from one of them to the other.
            “Members of my Taoist monastery,” Cho answered. His voice sounded strangely grim, Yori noted. Turning back to the other monks, he said, “On his deathbed, Master Zhao selected Brother Wu and Brother Tang to lead our monastery. He also revealed the existence of an ancient prophecy entrusted to our order.”
            “Wait,” Ina spun to face him. “The ‘Blind Taoist Priest in a Japense Bar Ends the World’ one?”
            Brother Tang spoke again. “Precisely why, for his own good, we ordered Cho to leave the monastery and travel west.” His voice began to rise with anger. “We didn’t realize he would go IN THE ENTIRELY WRONG DIRECTION!”
            Moving in perfect unison, Wu and Tang lowered themselves into battle stances.
            “Which is why we’re here. To prevent him from fulfilling the prophecy… even if it means killing him to do so.”
            Cho remained motionless, but Yori couldn’t help but reach for his swords. A wave of fear ran down his spine. He had seen Cho fight. If these two fought anywhere near as good as him…
            To his surprise –though he wasn’t sure why he was really surprised– Ken let out a drunken laugh.
            “I thought this day couldn’t be better!”
            Tang narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”
            “I just got done actin’ in the most kickass play ever.” Reaching up, Ken grabbed a handful of the brown paper that covered his sword. “And the only thing that could top that is actin’ in the most kickass play ever…”
            With one fell swipe, he tore the paper free, revealing the massive dragon-encrested blade beneath.
            “AND KICKIN’ YOUR ASS!”
            Christmas had come early. He had unwrapped his present. Now it was time to play with it.
            Hefting the sword in both hands, Ken charged at the two monks.
            “Ken,” Cho warned him, “I wouldn’t advise–”
            “I don’t recall asking you, Pointy Hat!”
            Reluctantly, Cho stood aside.
            “Brother Wu?” Asked Brother Tang.
            “Got it,” said the other.
            Bending his knees, Ken threw himself into the air, swinging his sword over his head as he came down.
            “IT’S FREAKING OVER!” he yelled.
            “Hmph,” Brother Wu grunted. Then, with a move that looked almost casual, he raised both hands– and caught the blade!
            “What the?” Ken exclaimed.
            “Flippin’ shnikies!” Yori whispered. “I need to reevaluate my list of stuff I thought was physically impossible!”
            Ken caught a flash of motion to his right, and turned his head just in time to see Brother Wang appear as if out of thin air.
            “You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered in sour acceptance.
            “What was it you said about kicking ass?”
            The monk’s leg shot out, striking Ken on his armored heinie, and the ronan samurai went flying forward like an arrow out of a bow. He collided with a nearby storefront, shattering the wood like it was made of matchsticks, and vanishing inside the ensuing cloud of dust.
            Tang turned back to Cho. “Now, back to the matter at hand.”
            “Hey!”
            Tang blinked, and spun back around to see Ken stumbling out of the store he had just destroyed. Blood and bruises coated his face, and he had to lean heavily on the wall to stand, but the fire in his eyes was nearly hot enough to light Cho’s pointy hat on fire from a mile away.
            “We’re not done, baldy. Not unless you’re talking about the matter of me pounding your face into a shape so ugly your ancestors will come back to life just to PUKE UP THEIR GUTS IN DISGUST AND DIE AGAIN!”
            He stumbled half consciously across the road and threw a blind punch at Tang’s face. The monk merely sidestepped the blow, barely having to flex a muscle to put himself safely out of Ken’s reach. A lazy spin put him behind Ken’s back while he punched the empty air in front of himself.
            “Quit dancing around like a ballerina so I can punch you, damnit!” he growled.
            Tang raised his hand. “Apologies, but we have other matters that need to be attended to.”
            He pushed Ken forward with the strength of a hurricane wind, using him to destroy a second storefront.
            “Uh, Cho?” Yori finally asked. “Don’t you think we should, you know, help Ken or something?”
            “He seems to be doing all right. Better than I expected, at least.”
            “You sure?”
            “No worries, Yorikiro.” The blind monk didn’t sound the least bit worried. “When the tao wants me to help, we’ll know. I just have to wait for… the sign!”
            Once again, Ken came stumbling out of the rubble he had created. “All right! I was gonna hold back, seeing as how your Cho’s friends and all, but you’ve seriously pushed the extent of my cheese doodle! Naturally, when you think I’m forgiven, then you’ll see this time!”
            Wu and Tang shared a look. “Excuse me?”
            Ken jabbed a finger at him. “Don’t you ask me the meaning of the turquoise. You already knew because kick ass of course not, damnit!”
            Then he collapsed.
            Yori gave Cho a confused look. “Cheese doodle?”
            Cho smiled. “The sign!”

            (TO BE CONTINUED…?)

          • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

            This made me laugh, it’s great! Especially the Christmas present analogy. Although I question the logic of you spending your creative energy on this silly comic!

          • LordBolanderFace

            Anything to distract me from my self-imposed obligations. I seem to remember somebody’s words of wisdom about becoming MegaTokyo by fulfilling the bare minimum requirements?

          • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

            Were they my words of wisdom?I honestly don’t remember. Also, wow, I didn’t realize Megatokyo was still around and updating regularly. I haven’t read that in, like, a decade or more.

          • jwkovell
          • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

            Oh, well, memory jogged. A surprisingly timeless page, aside from the fact that Megatokyo is no longer the webcomic juggernaut it once was. How does anyone keep track of this comic with only one page a week updates??

          • LordBolanderFace

            Steel trap mind and an overabundance of free time!

  • charles81

    Of course he left. They’d run out of Sake… and he needed to seek out new revenue sources.

  • Astralfury

    Don’t worry, if nothing else he can still get angry over the surprise making him drop his drink several pages ago.

  • Kid Chaos

    Well, I just saw “Justice League”…and I liked it! It’s not as good as “The Avengers”, but it is (IMHO) the best DC movie since “The Dark Knight Rises”…which was also better (see a pattern here?). Anyway, it was good but not great; lots of room for improvement, but still a good, fun film. Except for Superman; seriously, Henry Cavill, you’re killing me here. Go back and watch “Superman” I & II, use them to get into character. ‘Nuff said. 😎

    P.S. Aquaman was unexpectedly awesome; great casting! Keep that guy under contract. 😜

    • Nos Rin aka CTCO

      I saw it today and found it pretty average, I’m so disappointed, I’ve been waiting so damn long for a live action justice league film and that was what we got? uhg.

      • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

        You’ll probably get a remake in a decade.

        • Nos Rin aka CTCO

          oh, and the CGI was pretty bad at times. there’s a CGI moment with batman in the first ten minutes that looked worse then toby macquire spider man 1, more or less.

          • clogboy

            But darker, and grainier!

          • Nos Rin aka CTCO

            ya basically.

  • McNutty

    My exposition senses are tingling…

    • jwkovell

      Oh yeah?! Well guess what… we’re going to do a cut-away to Rock Ninja Bunzo going fishing instead, so ha!

      …

      Okay, no, you’re probably right.

      • KungFuKlobber

        Now I have to know: is there anything edible left of the fish after he throws giant rocks at them?

        • jwkovell

          The rocks just skip over the surface (classic Bunzo fail)

          • Madison Link

            Well, when he throws Mount Fuji at them, THAT won’t skip over the surface!

  • Hfar

    Ken failed at the Yumiko route, but let’s see if he can at least get the Genchu ending.

    —-

    I haven’t seen JL yet either, but from what I heard it’s a C- movie with some good performances from most of the principle actors and some fun character moments (Aquaman in particular) but unfortunately the villain is totally forgettable and the script is so predictable you can pretty much call out every single story beat before it happens. Not the Justice League we were all hoping for, but apparently far better than most of the DC fare we’ve been getting.

    • Nos Rin aka CTCO

      I’m pretty disappointed in how average and dull it felt. I loooooved justice league in the 2000s, and this is just, it’s a slap in the face.

  • Caffeine Stalker

    I feel that this arguing of theirs is getting a bit pointless…Well, at least they get in the trouble to argue, they are not cucks.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      um, wat?

      • Caffeine Stalker

        Yes?

      • clogboy

        I would definitely say Genchu is a bit of a kuckold:

        A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife. In evolutionary biology, the term is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own.

      • Dylan

        A “cuckold” is someone with a sexual fetish that requires him to get two people to do what he wants in bed. Certain parts of the internet (most notably the alt-right community) decided to use it as an insult, because… look, it’s not like anything else they do makes sense.

  • Nos Rin aka CTCO

    I saw it, a few things did not go how I expected and honestly I left feeling quite underwhelmed. It was nowhere near as bad and broody as BMVSSM, but, eh. I’m sure a lot of people will have liked it but….. eh. It was pretty average.

  • J Rendleman

    You’re the second person I’ve seen mention the Danny Elfman bit and it is still literally the only good thing I’ve heard about Justice League

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Through the entirety of the 90’s, pretty much the only music I bought was movie soundtrack CDs. John Williams, Danny Elfman, they unto gods in my mind. Even though I hates Man of Steel and BvS, either movie would have been tremendously improved with those characters’ classic film themes.

  • clogboy

    ‘Oh and besides, there’s this club called AA that got me through accepting the things I can’t change. I’ll be your sponsor if you wanna give it a go.’

  • Frank Royce Harr

    It’s hard to check up on someone who’s already gone.

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