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Matrix is doing her best to get under Cho’s skin! Metaphorically, I hope.

We’ve done another big archive update with the reformatted pages, 220–273! If you post any grammatical errors that need fixing on the new pages, we will put your name in the printed Volume 2 book giving credit to beta readers! Email or tweet up Joe with a name to credit.

I watched a fan edit of The Hobbit trilogy that cut it all down to a four hour long movie. I thought it was better, keeping the film very Bilbo-centric. Just after I watched it, two more fan edits cut the whole trilogy down to THREE HOURS! These fan edits remind me of the excellent The Phantom Edit that manages to make Episode 1 a watchable film. Still, I find myself wondering why I keep rewatching these inferior prequels when I have the originals films just waiting to be rewatched anyway!

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  • Flaming Squirrel

    Holy crap, Cho actually got someone’s gender right on the first try? It must be a sign of the… oh wait, it’s Cho. EVERYTHING he does is a sign of the apocalypse.

    • Ryan Thompson

      Well, theoretically he should get it right about 50% of the time…

      • Flaming Squirrel

        He thought Ken was a woman, despite being close enough to smell the sake-marinated hormones. I don’t have much hope for him.

        • jojo

          you guys i don’t like this new guy, takes everything way too seriously

        • Neska

          Women can drink too! And if Ken or anyone else is really marinated in sake, all Cho would smell would be the sake which is a gender neutral scent.

      • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

        Cho always beats the odds!

        • Flaming Squirrel

          Now that I think about it, maybe THAT’S what Matrix meant by “Right on them first try,”!

  • Ryan Thompson

    Yep, I definitely get an Enoch Root vibe from Matrix. Applying gentle pressure where needed to make sure things turn out a certain way. Except that Enoch Root was more or less unambiguously good, and Matrix is… not unambiguously anything.

    • TheMaskedFerret

      except, maybe, being ambiguous.

      • TekServer

        Unambiguously Ambiguous would be a great band name.

        • TheMaskedFerret

          That it would.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Ryan, I’m gonna start the Baroque Cycle this weekend since you recommended it! I’ll share my thoughts on it after I finish Quicksilver.

      • Ryan

        Sweet. Enjoy it.

  • IDPounder

    “The wayward fist should beware the splinter of thunder, for the singular beech is known to be a little nuts.”

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      I want this exact quote in the comic because it is both badass and hilarious.

      • IDPounder

        The Tao approves of this plan.

  • Astralfury

    Turns out The Tao is no match for The Sass

    • Kid Chaos

      Very impressive; I thought for sure Matrix would meet her match with Cho. The Sass strikes again!

      • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

        A New Sass, The Sass Strikes Back, Returns of the Sass.

        • Ryan Thompson

          We don’t talk about the prequels, The Phantom Sass, Sass of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sassth.

          • Kid Chaos

            DO NOT WANT!!! 😜

          • TekServer

            Now we have the new ones: The Sass Awakens, The Sass Jedi, and The Rise Of Sasswalker.

  • Mike

    She just cut off the Tao! Now I’ll never know where the contrary watermelon will roll.

    • charles81

      uphill?

      • jwkovell

        Whithershins.

    • noisyparker

      …and therein lies the lesson.

    • Kid Chaos

      …and knowing is half the battle.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Who are we to stop the rolling watermelon?

      • Kid Chaos

        A rolling watermelon gathers no moss.

    • Crestlinger

      Down by the bay of course.

  • Xinef

    My fist.

    Also, she’s not trying to get under his skin. She’s trying to get under his knickers.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Getting over one of those is significantly easier than the other. Also, curse you!

  • charles81

    Not sure what to make of all this. My best guess is that Cho is, himself, trying to learn the Thousand Fists of Fury. But why he wouldn’t want his friends to know he’s trying to learn it… Is ashamed to be learning a forbidden talent or simply doesn’t want them getting involved when the hammer brothers come a visiting again.

    Could very well be that Matrix herself knows the secret to the Thousand Fists of Fury and will give him quick pointers. However It makes better story sense if his friends simply help him. Who knows, maybe Ken will get a chance to return the favor and fare better than he did last time… Maybe take a Thousand Fists of Fury for Cho.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      I can’t imagine Ken willingly taking that kind of a hit for Cho. They haven’t even fist bumped yet, so is there even any bromance to be had there??

      • Ryan Thompson

        They have a long history of not murdering each other.

      • charles81

        I can see it now.
        Ken shall take a Thousand Fists of Fury
        Tell the hammer brother, Wu, he hits like a pansy then fall and die in a painted scene.
        Cho shall win the battle and Fumio will join them and wail that Ken is dead
        Ken shall then shatter the last of Fumio’s teeth with a thunderous, final uppercut to the jaw to repay Fumio for callin’ him dead.
        Then Ken shall slump back and give one final speech of badassery to Cho, worthy of a grand Kabuki play to cap the career of The Ennosuke Nakamura.

        • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

          Lights dim, curtains fall, uproarious applause! Encore, encore! Exit, stage left.

          • charles81

            I think an encore is possible.
            Ken’s badass enough to die twice.

  • Sam DunKley

    Seriously, how is Cho’s arm healed already? Unless…it isn’t…and he just went through a battle sequence and is now training with a busted arm…because he’s THAT worried about Brothers Rap Reference.

    …huh. Maybe Matrix is doing him a favor here.

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      Cho has incredible healing powers through rigorous meditation and chi flow techniques. Clearly. And Yori has the power of positive thinking.

      • Sam DunKley

        …I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.

  • Hfar

    *tsk* More blackmail? Why is it nobody ever uses whitemail? Or pucemail? No-one even considers pucemail….

    • http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai

      I’m more of a chartreusemail guy, myself.

      • Hfar

        Well at least you’re not a mauvemail guy. Mauvemailers are most malicious malefactors.

  • clogboy

    Matrix is meddling. Wouldn’t that mean she lost the bet?

  • Brandenfascher

    He’s not “training in secret”, he just needs training with peace and privacy! Especially from people that interrupt their training with questions. Why else do monks train in remote locations?

    • Kid Chaos

      So nobody will interrupt them while they’re watching porn.

      • Speedy Marsh

        “Please go away, so I can continue punching wood in private.”

        • Kid Chaos

          Matrix: “Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days?”

  • DarthJazzHand

    OHhoho. I see. He’s trying to master the 1000 fists of ORAORA trick as well, eh? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2fd02f499ac169b84f7e9de378c8844d67dda987474cebe52e3c89176a6b64c.gif

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