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Here it is, page 700! Not that numbers matter since we’ve renumbered the archive after reformatting some of the old pages.

Did everyone enjoy Guardians of the Galaxy 2? I forgot to even talk about it last time, it left THAT BIG AN IMPRESSION on me. Not that it was bad, mind you, it was fine. I laughed a bunch. But I kept asking my companions “what is the plot of this movie??” Seriously, it’s just a bunch of unanswered plot threads from the first film all coming together from different directions and tying themselves in a big, fat knot right at the end. And that’s okay, there’s no problem with that kind of storytelling, but it did result in the movie feeling like it was meandering a bit. Maybe if they’d introduced a ticking clock trope at the start to add some tension to the whole thing, that would’ve moved the plot along faster. I don’t even understand why Quill, Gamora, and Drax just left Rocket, Groot, and robot girl on the one planet to go have a good time with Ego. Like, why even break up the group? Was there any reason not to just stay on the planet until the ship was fixed and then follow Ego? Or leave with Ego and come back with parts and tools to fix the ship faster? But whatever, it’s fine, it’s a MARVEL MOVIE! As long as there are plenty of silly quips and great character banter all is forgiven, even when you have a stupid, overly long final fight scene full of nonsense physics that suck all tension out of the scene and leave the audience with nothing but bright flashy CG imagery to gorge on for what feels like half an hour (I have no idea how long the final fight scene was, but it was too long).

Did anyone else just assume we’d see Groot grow from a child to an adult during the course of the movie and in the final scene he’d suddenly bust through a wall or something fully grown and save Rocket at the last second from a bad guy? Man, I totally thought that was gonna happen but, nope, baby Groot, all the way.

Will we ever get a stand alone Yondu movie now??

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  • IDPounder

    I would 100% plunk my hard-earned cash down for a Yondu movie, Alex. Not only because he has been far and away the most interesting character (particularly in the 2nd movie), but also…more Michael Rooker, please. Tragically underappreciated actor.

  • charles81

    Well… you can’t backchat if you turn around… then it’s like frontchat which just sounds awkward.

  • Bree

    RE: Guardians of the Galaxy 2: I felt the film had very little in the way of the plot…

    …And that was not a bad thing to me. For me I saw a whole bunch of character interactions which were focused on the theme of the film (family), expanding on it, on how families fight, bond, aren’t bound by blood, and other such aspects.

    Every character had their arc resolve around that one single concept, family, so for me that’s what the film was meant to be about. As a result, I quite loved it. It’s a brilliant film if you go in with the expectation that it’s actually meant to go into depth about the characters within and their bonds.

    It just didn’t have much in the way of a strong plot…and I felt that was fine. It honestly felt like a family night out at the film, except…in-universe, on the most meta level. The movie wasn’t telling a story. It was showing a screenshot of lives, and for me that was a beautiful and interesting approach to take, and a very bold/daring move given how unusual the premise was.

    • foducool

      brought all kinds of tears to my face, that’s all that matters to me ^^

    • KungFuKlobber

      Speaking as one who loved the first movie almost without reservation, I fully agree with Alex that that ending fight was was too long, nonsensical, and dumb.

      On the other hand, that opening title sequence covereth over a multitude of sins.

    • Nos Rin aka CTCO

      I agree, who needs one solid major plot. As long as it’s a fun film I’m not going to complain. I rarely get into the main plots I almost kind of just prefer to see smaller plots together.

  • Kid Chaos

    700 club, baby! WOOHOO! And yes, Guardians 2 was badass. Now then, our heroes are finally approaching the Senshin lines; I wonder what will happen when Ina and General Tanaka meet again? Inquiring minds want to know! 😎

  • foducool

    “don’t wanna miss all the fun, duh”

  • WylleECoyote

    A webcomic writer/artist with a quality bit of work that is 700 pages in (with only a glimpse of an end on the horizon) after 4 years; bitching about the pacing of a Movie they liked anyway?

    I suppose anything is possible.

    • Flaming Squirrel

      I know, right? Who told these writers/artists that were allowed to have an opinion?

    • Sam

      Four years? NN4B began in 2002. It’s just been four years since they moved to the current archive system.

  • Flaming Squirrel

    Matrix: “Autobots, transform!”

    You know, I felt the same as you about GoG 2. It wasn’t bad, but it kinda just felt like it was going through the motions. One thing I didn’t like was how… stupid they made Drax. In the first movie he was naive, but understandably so. In this one, they just made him a giggling idiot. There’s only so many times “Point, laugh obnoxiously loud, and explain the joke that everyone else already gets” can be funny before it becomes annoying. And it did become annoying.

    A couple other things felt weird, too. Like, if Yondu never meant to take the Guardians to the golden people (what were they called again? do I even care?), then why bother showing up on their planet at all? His arrow looks kinda cool, but it kinda depends on everybody just standing still and letting him kill them. Which they do. Which annoyed me.

    Rocket has a repair-the-ship-gun that’s on par with Superman’s rebuild-the-Wall-of-China vision from Quest for Peace. We only see it for a second, but that bugged me.

    Quill’s father was a god, and he’s going to teach Quill to use the god powers he never knew he had. Yawwwn. I hate this trope because it always happens the same way: the son struggles to learn, but during the final fight someone tells him to believe in himself and put his heart into it, and suddenly he’s a black belt in godjutsu.

    They were so desperate for a “real” father figure to be in the movie that they actually used Yondu. Everyone’s going on about how he’s “dad of the year” but I’m like… no. He used Quill as a tool to help him steal stuff, which means putting him in constant danger and can probably be classified as a form of child slavery. He claims that threatening to let the crew eat him was just a joke (Quill obviously didn’t know it was a joke) but he sounded pretty freaking serious about it in the first movie. Ah well, he was still a cool character and I still teared up during his funeral scene.

    I’m complaining a lot, but I still liked it. It worked as a comedy movie, but doesn’t hold up very well as an action adventure movie. And yeah, I was expecting Groot to grow up by the end, but.. meh. We all know 90% of the people only went to see this because baby Groot is totes adorbs.

    • Flaming Squirrel

      Also… am I the only one nitpicky enough to call Quill and Gamora out on that first scene? Drax may have been an idiot, but his logic was sound enough. The monster’s skin may be just as thick from the inside, but you’re already inside it. Where the squishy important pieces are. You don’t have to cut through the skin anymore.

      • Bree

        Well maybe if you’re Quill or Gamora stuck inside, you’d think like that, but Drax was just mindlessly pounding away once inside: he wasn’t looking for any “important spots”, or “weak points”, as it were.

    • Bree

      One of the main things about Yondu’s arrow is the sheer speed of it. He’s basically like a space-cowboy-outlaw, with the “quickest draw in the galaxy”, as it were. Would YOU risk a quickdraw match against him? Because that is something that he’s shown he can and WILL win, even if the playing field is stacked against him.

      To a large extent, it’s both a combination of reputation AND having EARNED that reputation. His main weakness this film was honestly that he genuinely WAS too soft to his crew: if he killed the dissenters before he was shot, then the mutiny would never have had a chance to begin.

      Rocket’s tool isn’t something which I took issue with, because it makes some amount of sense: we can convert matter into energy. Vice-versa is theoretically possible: using energy converted to reconstruct matter.

      Quill’s father also wasn’t genuinely that interested in teaching Quill. You have to keep in mind he was seeking an agenda: Quill was a means to an end, nothing more than that. Even if not, even if he was planning on genuinely teaching Quill: Peter being a slow-learner was nothing he really cared about, because as far as his father was concerned, they had all of eternity for him to learn. (Remember, his sense of time isn’t the same as mortals so for him taking millions of years to learn isn’t a bad thing.)

      Whereas Yondu had a genuine interest in teaching Peter from the get-go. Even in the first film, you could see several instances of (pardon the TVTropes language) Yondu’s Stealth Mentor attributes: he was teaching Peter Quill to survive in a galaxy where everything wants to kill you, and was proud to see him develop to the point where he was independent in the first film.

      You have to keep in mind that even in the first film, it was really really, REALLY obvious that Yondu was putting up a Captain Shakespheresque (bonus points if you get the reference) “tough captain” act, and yet it was exactly that, an act. He’s the captain of a crew of pirates, and in that position he needs to look tough. We actually see the consequences of him FAILING to look tough in this film, but there were hints of it even in the first; his attitude was a necessary ‘evil’.

      • Flaming Squirrel

        In regards to Yondu’s arrow, I can see all that, and yet every time he uses it (both in this and first movie) everyone just stands there and lets him do it. Remember the necrons or whatever they were called? They all had plenty of time to shoot him while he was killing the first guy. Or even when he was whistling the arrow out of his pocket. Same with the mutineers, they pretty much all just stood there and let him kill them.

        • Bree

          To some extent, for those who don’t know of Yondu’s ability, there might be an initial confusion value, then shock value: that split second delay of “what IS that”–>”what WAS that?” is all he needs in order to kill them all. (And remember, this applies in BOTH cases: the people threatening Yondu didn’t necessarily want him dead! The necrons wanted him to turn the ravagers on the nova corps; the mutineers had incentive not to kill him, such as turning him in for his bounty.)

          In the case of those who DO know about his ability, it’s more like, “Oh, crap, he has the fin!”, and absolute sheer panic at this fact. During his escape, the mutineers were all scrambling: they went from sleeping to being awake, all trying to desperately figure out how they could survive the onslaught–nobody even got remotely close to having a clean shot on him.

          Prior to that, during the initial stage of the mutiny, again, think Western cliches: they were having a standoff. They had their guns pointed at Yondu, and Yondu had his arrow poised to strike at them. Nebula ended up breaking the stalemate, but if you think of their logic in terms of cowboy tropes, it all makes more sense.

  • Sunwu

    You’re out of the woods, you’re out of the dark, you’re our of the night,
    Step into the sun, step into the light.

  • Sunwu

    But little did they know Yori’s brother Eijiro was right behind them!!! Following in his butterfly form!!!

    • clogboy

      Needs more Birdfish. :)

  • MatrixDragon

    Not only did she disappear and move up to that tree… she also changed her clothes AND lit a cigarette. All in about 10 seconds.

    • Turul

      Yeah, she’s just THAT good.

    • Xinef

      She’s hacked the Matrix! 😉

      • MatrixDragon

        I’ve come to the conclusion that Matrix and Lex are basically like Q’s from Star Trek at this point, lol.

        • Insane Disciple

          I remember Q actually making a point and being frustrating but funny (Except in Deep Space 9 that was boring)

  • endplanets

    Wait a second….

    …so that is where he got it from.

    They don’t disappear into the void, they just go higher. Really higher.

  • Nos Rin aka CTCO

    I’m Marry Poppins Y’all!
    That will never stop being funny to me, it was so ridiculous.
    There was a more fun music track in the first one but hey, still a great fun film that was still way better then civil war and age of ultron.

  • Nos Rin aka CTCO

    Stand alone Yondu movie? Not likely. which is a shame cause that would be epic.

  • Ladon

    I like Guardians of the Galaxy 2. It was just… it was really, really cheesy. Oh, gosh. Everyone has daddy issues? Wow. Rocket finds solidarity with Yondu after everyone hints incessivly that he pushes everyone away on purpose? Gee, didn’t see that character arc coming. Nebula just wanted a sister? Aaaaww, she just wants to be part of the family too. And then the stupid will-they won’t-theys. Is Drax X Mantis a thing now? Why is that a thing? They had a great platonic friendship going. Why does EVERY male who forms a meaningful relationship with a female have to turn out to have romantic attraction to them? Same with Gamora and Peter, that was just forced. And all that romance stuff happens during Yondu’s funeral, making a beautiful and touching scene a backdrop for shoehorned romantic sub-plots. But other than that, I really did like the movie. It was fun and enjoyable and the opening credits were the best I’ve ever seen.

  • Purphoros

    She’s smoking. A smoking ninja. A smoking ninja in stealth mode.

    That smell would betray one’s presence even to today’s numb-nosed civilization-crippled people.

    Still, somehow both her and Snake get away with it.

  • Insane Disciple

    And stalking resumed

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