Insignificante image adjustment: Consider making Nataku’s pinky a little more stunted in Panel 2.
http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
Charles, this has been a huge help! We expected small grammatical correction notes, but having a reader as dedicated to the storytelling as you is going to greatly improve the flow of the book. We intent to implementing the vast majority of the changes you suggest, because they are excellent. I don’t even know how to thank you for the input, it’s invaluable!
jwkovell
Pinky stuntafied and panels moved for better readability.
Thanks!
Aetre
proofreading note: should be a comma after “Enough” in panel 4. This makes it a direct address instead of a statement of amount. “I’ve had enough, Atsumori. (I don’t want to hear any more.)” vs. “I’ve had enough Atsumori. (I couldn’t eat another bite…)”
jwkovell
Got it. Thanks!
Da’Zlein
Maybe some day he’ll start listening to his adviser and will actually make a good decision…
Kid Chaos
Unfortunately, Atsumori is outnumbered 2-to-1 by Nataku and Eijiro (3-to-1 if you count Hirotomo’s raging paranoia).
User Unknown
His paranoia is so great, it counts as its own person!
Ilmari
That duplicitous Masuhiro! How dare he not wander blithely into our plot to fix his succession and assassinate him! He will die for this disgrace!
MoveAlongCitizen
Don’t you just hate when your political enemies ruin your best plans?
