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767

That joke only took fifteen years to set up, I hope you all appreciate it!

I’ve been playing some Spiderman on PS4. Dang, it’s so good! But, also, Spiderman literally knocks hundreds of villains unconscious, sending them flying into brick walls or other hard objects, or smashing their heads into steel girders. I find it slightly hard to believe a few of these dudes aren’t DOA or dying in hospitals from traumatic head injuries! You’d also think New York would just run out of criminals considering the number of guys Spidey takes out of commission in the span of a few weeks. Although he’s still no Batman, since Bruce wipes out at least the same number of burly angry guys in the Arkham games over the course of a single night, also, APPARENTLY with no casualties on his part!

Incidentally, in Assassin’s Creed, you’re always playing as characters who murder literally hundreds, if not THOUSANDS, of people out in the open with all sorts of martial arts tricks and crazy gadgets, and yet you’re apparently not a part of a known history? You’d figure there’d be some sort of historical note about a cowled fighters single handedly killing dozens to hundreds of people at a time in the streets of cities across the world.

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59 responses to “767”

  1. foducool says:

    lmfao anticlimactic af

  2. Astralfury says:

    Ken is the best character so it’s fitting he gets The Best Girl.

  3. Little Kingsguard says:

    That’s not Mt. Fuji! That’s not Mt. Fuki at all!

  4. Viri says:

    Yumiko understands the most fundamental rule of combat.

    Paper always beats rock.

  5. KungFuKlobber says:

    Please take Bunzo along, please take Bunzo along, please take Bunzo along…

    • Minando says:

      ‘Why should we take YOU along?’

      ‘Because Bunzo strong in arms, but feeble in head, making him most best amusing company, prone to many practical jokes.’
      ‘…you know, for someone claiming to be an idiot you are pretty smart.’
      ‘Sorry to hear it, master *bows deeply*’

  6. KungFuKlobber says:

    That game sounds a lot like Spider-Man 2 for GameCube/PS2/XBox, with the taking out of hundreds of bad guys and whatnot. One time I carried a random mook to the top of the Empire State Building and then piledrove him all the way down to the street. I think he probably ended up with a headache from that one.

  7. Auroki says:

    A joke worth fifteen years lol

  8. Crestlinger says:

    Just the tip, for easy transport.
    And yes, horses would be helpful, If they can catch up.

  9. Yasmin Mazur says:

    note about missing persons: USA last year had over 600 thousand missing person cases. that’s 0.2% of the population that people just don’t know where they’ve gone. You’d think a serial killer would tell about all their victims, but that’s also not true. People go missing. it’s not hard, even in the age of information with all those CC TV cameras around.
    An assassin that runs around killing people could get away with it as long as he bothers to hide the body in a reasonable place (like a swamp or the bottom of a lake – not the middle of the street). It will just be another case of a person getting lost. you can also burn the body to avoid leaving evidence of murder – the plage pits are also a good place for that, as well as random graves in cemetaries…
    If he doesn’t clean after himself – the organization that he’s fighting also has an interest to get rid of the bodies to avoid the attention of the authorities.
    All in all – the question of why doesn’t anybody notice all those bodies around is the least of the factual problems in those games.

    • Ha, I mean, we’re not talking about an accumulation of missing persons, we’re talking about a single person killing, like, a hundred guys in the courtyard of government buildings throughout written history!

      • KungFuKlobber says:

        But all the newspapers and printing houses are controlled by Illuminati Faction A and Illuminati Faction B, and neither of them want evidence of their quasi-secret war published.

      • Yasmin Mazur says:

        did you know that in WW2, the turks slaughtered over a million armenians – and did not acknowlege it until today…
        there are mass tumbs uncovered in all sorts of places and people have no idea how the people got into them. History is shining a flashlight on a huge area of darkness – if nobody wrote about it, and if someone else went around burning books and scrolls – we will not know about it.
        The fact that one man can actually kill a whole castle full of people is more impossible than nobody preserving the record…
        Besides – it’s not like those games aim for historical accuracy – if they did – they would find a city or something that did actually get that treatment – Croatoan…

  10. Arkone Axon says:

    This means she lived… good!

  11. Sunwu says:

    I want Bunzo to join them and use the rock some how

  12. Xinef says:

    And from this day “brick jokes” shall be known as “Mt. Fuji jokes” forever after.

  13. Since I don’t see another link, the rock thrower first arrived back yonder: http://nn4b.com/comic/112

  14. Jonathan Andrus says:

    *golf clap* mad props on the long setup, and on the longevity of sics a great comic!

  15. Hfar says:

    “Would you like horses?”

    “Naw! We’ve all maxed out our edurance stats, so we can actually outrun horses by this point.”

  16. animalia555 says:

    Because if I don’t say it somebody else will…

    “Rock falls, nobody cares”

  17. endplanets says:

    Oh yea, horses exist.

    It like in LOTR when Gandalf tells the Hobbits to just walk into Mordor… and then rides off on his sweet sweet horse.

  18. EternalLurker says:

    Just seeing the first panel and immediately remembering the origin of this brick — err, rock — joke had me in stitches. Ah, memories.

    I’ve played enough of PS4 Spider-Man to have experienced pretty much everything the game has to offer, and I still have yet to see anything in it that previous Spidey games didn’t do as well or better, aside from some (but not all) aesthetic aspects. It’s a fine game and all, but it’s not anything unique, and compared to Amazing Spider-Man’s combat and mobility options it’s honestly multiple steps backwards. Why this game has been so incredibly hyped up while ASM was mostly ignored is beyond me, aside from the fact that they came out alongside film versions of Spidey which were respectively treated the same way.

    • If the Amazing Spiderman games were as good as this new one, then they certainly deserve more credit. Were the stories as engaging?

      • EternalLurker says:

        Hm…having played the PS4 Spider-Man in disorganized chunks at a few friends’ places rather than in one sitting, I suppose I might not have gotten a proper presentation of the story, so I’ll have to reserve judgment on that front. Mechanically, I just miss ASM’s stealth options, Retreat button (a context-sensitive ever-present option which makes Spidey immediately web-zip towards the nearest area which has the least enemy eyes on it), more fluid combat dodge options…just generally waaaaay more mobility. If you think PS4 MSM has cool mobility options when swinging around Manhattan, you’ll love ASM, wherein you can do things like hold down the web-zip button to slow down time, aim at a precise point even in mid-air, and send Spidey EXACTLY there…even if he has to find a path by running along walls and flipping across lamp-posts to do it.

        I suppose it’s not fair to say ASM’s mobility options are “better”, exactly, as that’s subjective, but they definitely make the player feel way more powerful. In MSM, that feeling of power seems to come more from various web shots and unlockable suit tech than from raw speed and fluidity of motion, which is…fine, I guess, but doesn’t really capture the part of the character which I think lends itself best to a fun gameplay experience.

        But I’ll keep the story thing in mind and give the game a…less disjointed playthrough the next time I’m in front of it. And I definitely do love the aesthetic presentation, at the least. It does a lot of cool-looking, comic-book-y things and pays incredible attention to detail. The memory that’s stuck with me the most from my experiences is when I took down some robbers at a store, and the camera switched to a side-view watching the action from the street, essentially granting the player the perspective of a bystander watching Spidey at work. Little things like that just make the game’s overall presentation so very elegant that it’s hard to be too disappointed in the things that are missing from prior installments.

  19. Nos Rin aka CTCO says:

    you know what I hate about the new spiderman game? it’s not on PC. :S

  20. Y’know, my memory must be going; I had to look this up in the very handy character reference (thanks for that, guys). Yes, totally worth the 15 year set-up. Good work, m’lads, very good work.

  21. Darkseide says:

    so he took that part of Mount Fuji?

  22. Frank Royce Harr says:

    Heh. :)

    Horses? We don’t need no stinkin’–oh, wait. Horses would be, like, totally sweet. Still stinky but sweet.

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