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Yeah, get out there, find that assassin!

Guys, I’m very excited to talk about Rogue One next comic update! I’m so hyped up for this movie, I can’t even think straight. I hope it’s actually great and not less than great! In the mean time, everyone should maybe go see Moana (if you like musicals, of course). It’s a solid movie. It’s maybe got a few pacing issues, but the music will burrow into your brain and hole up, exactly what you want out of a musical!

I picked up The Last Guardian the day of release and played through it in like three four hour chunks over three days. It’s a beautiful game, I’m totally in awe of the world design and atmosphere. It’s a seamless continuation of Ico and Shadow of the Colossus’ world, so if you loved those games, you owe it to yourself to play this one (assuming you’ve got a PS4 lying around). For anyone intent on playing it, a few tips:

  • The movement controls are gods awful, but not much worse that Shadow or Ico, although those games were two console generations ago. Just brace yourself for some janky, imprecise jumping and movement!
  • Holding L1 will focus the camera on Trico, which is super helpful.
  • I recommend adjusting the camera speed to maximum in the settings, otherwise it feels like the camera is moving through molasses.
  • When the game gives you the ability to command Trico, that doesn’t just mean holding R1 and pointing in a direction. pressing R1+Triangle/Square/Circle/X are also various commands. I got stuck for a long time because I couldn’t figure out how to make Trico do a thing that I was certain he was supposed to do! R1+Triangle is your best friend.
  • Expect to cry at the end, but maybe not for the reason you think.

I can’t even believe Last Guardian actually exists and I can play it, that is unreal for a game that was originally announced in 2009. Granted Nioh started development in 2004 and is coming out in February, and Final Fantasy 15 was announced in 2006 and somehow managed to come out just a week or so ago also. My wife picked up that one and she seems to be really enjoying it, although as a cohesive world it make no sense. Your main characters are these black leather clad guys driving this souped up Audi while everyone else you encounter looks like they’re from the 1950’s. It’s like WHAT? I can’t imagine any in game explanation for this, except time travel.  Also, something about Noctis’ pants are endlessly frustrating to me. They’re like capris that cut off just before where his black boots begin. GET SOME LONGER PANTS, NOCTIS, I don’t need to see a sliver of your beautiful calves. Also, black coats with short sleeves? Fashion disaster, friends! ( Because I know so much about fashion, why not)

Image result for noctis


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  • Nos Rin aka CTCO

    So are you saying that the last guardian is NOT Duke Nukem Forever?
    Well I never played the first two and I’m a PC gamer so I’m happy to pass. Just shocked it’s out.

    • SlugFiller

      You should play the first two, or at least Shadow of the Colossus. It’s the game from which other games need to learn how to make boss battles. Especially spectacle beat-’em-ups that think a QTE is a decent mechanic for an oversized boss. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t at least try it.

      • Nos Rin aka CTCO

        I can not play shadow of colossus for several reason. First let me state I respect that it is an amazing game, but it is just not for me.
        Firstly, from what I’ve been told the boss fights can go on for hours, and I don’t think you can save and come back in the middle of them. I just don’t have tome for games like that. There’s also nothing to fight, just riding between each one. That just doesn’t excite. And lastly, I got the spoilers for the ending and man, that’s just freaking sad, it all seems pointless to me.
        I’m sure it’s a great game but what it is overall is just not for me.

        • SlugFiller

          The boss battles aren’t that long. I think you can clear the entire game in a couple of hours. Heck, the speed runs are about finishing a boss in SECONDS. In fact, you should look at some of the speed runs, they’re amazing.

          The story is sad, yes, but it’s not the main point. The gameplay is awesome, and there is barely anything that qualifies as a cutscene, except the beginning and end. If you don’t want to pay attention to the story, you don’t have to. It’s nice and emotional, but you don’t have to if that’s not your taste.

          There are no small mobs, that’s true. In the case of this game, they would just distract from the main point of the game, which are the bosses. Small mobs might work in a similar-styled game, but you have to consider what this one was pioneering. If they tried to do both, the small mob combat would just look jarring in how different it was from the main gameplay.

          You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about the game, which is all the more reason why you should experience it yourself. Spend just one hour, or even half an hour, playing it, and then decide if you want to finish it or not.

          Most importantly, after you’ve played this game, chances are you’ll look down at other action games, and wonder why they can’t make their bosses interesting like in SoC.

          • Nos Rin aka CTCO

            possibly, but unless I ended up dating a girl who made me play it I dont think I ever will. (or had a cool gaming roommate) chances of those are mega slim.
            Well it’s good to know the boss battles aren’t hours long. But the game still doesn’t interest me.
            I enjoy games like Borderlands 2, Shadow Warrior 2, Doom, Shadow Warrior 1, Torchlight 2, Orcs Must Die 2 was good.
            I like slaying lots of mobs and being the hero and etc etc. A good shooter is great to me, like Halo. But I love RPGs like Elder Scrolls. Loot is a big importance to me in most RPGs but not as important as in adventure games like Zelda. the original Quake is probably one of the best games I have ever played.

            Like I said, I’m sure it’s an amazing game but it just does not interest me.

        • suburban_samurai

          BOSS FIGHTS TAKING HOURS??? That would require a special kind of incompetence! My first play through of the game only took maybe 10 hours total with all 16 bosses, and that was with a lot of dawdling. Still, SotC was a somewhat divisive game when it came out since there wasn’t really much to do outside of riding to the next boss and figuring out how to kill it. But, man, the sound design and the environments created such a tangible atmosphere. I spent a lot of time exploring every corner of the world map, even though, in truth, there was very little of substance to find (aside from the harrowing and totally optional climb to the top of the central tower).

          The game felt like an 80’s fantasy movie, with just you and your horse and your sword going off to face the unknown. SotC and Never Ending Story are intrinsically linked in my mind. Also, no other game has every recreated the same real-time epic encounters. Shadow of the Colossus had NO QUICK TIME EVENTS, you just had to cling on to those suckers’ backs and stab ’em in the weak spot while they tried to buck you off, all to epic orchestral music. Those sand worm battles! And the giant bird fight! Geez, just thinking about it makes me want to play the game again.

          The bird colossus is probably my favorite, because it felt like you were really clinging on for pure life trying to take down this giant beast mid-flight. So intense. The calm before the storm as you approach it still gives me the tingles.

          • Xinef

            Poor me, but seeing the guy swimming with a sword in his hand, and drawing a bow while underwater just to shoot it moments later, breaks my suspension of disbelief.

            And that’s just because I THINK this doesn’t make sense, even though it’s technically possible.

            But seeing a guy fight a colossal bird doesn’t break my suspension of disbelief, because it’s fantasy for goodness sake, so why would it?

          • suburban_samurai

            Well, it’s a magic sword that shines with a magic light, clearly making it light enough to swim with (get it??), and it’s a magic bow with unlimited ammo. So basically the answer to all your concerns are “the Force did it”.

          • Xinef

            I know it can all be explained with in-game lore. I even know you could do such things IRL – there are swimming techniques to use when holding an object (a harpoon, a camera etc.) and there are water-resistant bows and bowstrings.

            That’s why I said it’s “technically possible”.

            It just doesn’t make much sense in my head, since if I were in this situation, I’d put the sword in the scabbard and use both hands for swimming. And about the bow it’s just my psyche that can’t accept it because “normal bows don’t like water”.

          • Nos Rin aka CTCO

            I never actually played it, this is just what I was told. that boss fights could be up to 2 hours or something.
            And I still feel bad for the titans.

  • Hfar

    Yes, truly a great sacrifice on Atsumori’s part. That killer sure is dastardly.

    And at this point I’ve learned just not to question the fashion choices of Square Enix characters. *looks at Sora and Tidus*

  • Pumpkin_Cake

    I’m glad that at the very least, Nataku gave Atsumori a fake honorable death. I was worried that he’d claim he was a traitor that attacked Eljiro.

  • Dshim

    ooooh that’s smart. i’m an idiot, i was thinking he was going to say he was performing self defence by stopping Atsumori from killing Eijiro. Don’t think anyone would have believed that.

  • charles81

    Atsumori! Who knew he had it in him?

    Such Courage, Bravery and Valor!


    *Nataku calmly walks over to the abandoned soup and pours himself a bowl*

  • Turul

    Atsumori, you brave, faithful warrior. ;_; Nataku will never forget you. At least before next month or so. I mean it’s not every day he gets to kill a general, that’s a bit of a special occasion.

    • Jake

      ” I’ll remember you in my will, Ned. No money, of course, just ‘I remember you’.”- one of Tweedles from Alice in Wonderland. Okay, that just about sums it up for me on remembering and forgetting. other than maybe an Atsumori memorial montage :cue sentimental musak:

      • Xinef

        On the topic of memory, that’s one of the reasons why I wouldn’t join the Anonymous.

        I have poor memory, I always forget.

  • Xenocide

    I agree completely on Noctis’ pants, I also find it infuriating. Either wear pants that reach your boots, or wear trainers or something instead of boots!

    And then you have the punk reject, and you’re expected to believe these guys are actually wearing a uniform…

  • Yacc

    well played

  • Xinef

    So using your own body as a shield (when you have more appropriate objects around) – one of the stupidest tropes ever invented – lampshaded and inverted in NN4B?

    TV Tropes taught you well, my friends.

  • Tim “Azur3flame” Eldred

    My favorite thing here is Nataku’s face in panel 4. Those eyes are selling it, man!

    • Arkone Axon

      Of course they are. You can tell he genuinely regrets the man’s death, in a “He died for the cause!” sense. He killed the general for standing in the way of his lord’s intentions and to help his lord’s plans… but that doesn’t mean he didn’t respect the guy.

      (Hell, he’s a Samurai, which means he’s prepared to kill himself without hesitation to serve his lord. So… is it that much of a stretch to kill someone he thinks of as a friend, to serve his lord?)

      • Xinef

        He would even kill his lord to serve his lord!

        • Arkone Axon

          That actually IS something a samurai is also prepared to do. If your lord intends to commit sepukku, then he needs someone who won’t screw it up when it comes to beheading him to shorten the agony of self-disembowelment.

  • BeigePaladin

    I mean, he is right. The assassin is getting away with it, and they did let him walk straight past them

    Noctis was very much on the cutting edge of mens japanese fashion…. 10 years ago. now he looks outated and goofy XD Idunno, he and his boyband adventure is surprisingly more charming than it has any reason to be. and really, its one country of moden day japanese folk, and one of 1950s american folks because…. reasons?

  • purplelibraryguy

    Major Strasser has been stabbed!
    Round up the usual suspects.

  • Not Real

    Of all the sins Nataku is guilty of, directly lying to his guards about assassination is not one of them. He’s simply presenting a more… creative truth.

    • Turul

      It’s the truth… from a certain point of view.

      • Not Real

        From my point of view, the Senshin are evil!

    • Xinef

      If we assume Nataku is in fact a Senshin, then the whole story would be true.

      … kinda sorta.

  • ArtificerEd

    “Your main characters are these black leather clad guys driving this souped up Audi while everyone else you encounter looks like they’re from the 1950’s. It’s like WHAT? I can’t imagine any in game explanation for this, except time travel.”

    If you were to airdrop a Tesla into a rural village in western India and drove around wearing an Armani suit, talking on an (unexploded) Galaxy Note, is a third party’s only explanation for seeing that technological dichotomy “time travel”?

    The game sort of revolves around Insomnia (the capital city the characters come from) being shielded from the encroachment of Nifelheim for *decades*, flourishing while imperial-held lands languished under its rule — so you’re watching four city boys try to blend in with a world they’re years ahead of; it seems weird and wrong because it should seem weird and wrong. I’m not looking to throw spoilers, so I don’t want to get into why it’s ultimately a big deal there’s such a gulf in technology and knowledge, but there’s some interesting discussion to be had about what to do when there’s no good decisions available to be made and what those decisions can look like with enough time and perspective.

    And, as for the Regalia, well… it *is* fit for a king (no, really, it’s the king’s car gifted to the guys at the start).

    • suburban_samurai

      Does the game ever explain why the king would send these bros on a road trip by themselves instead of with an armored convey or just straight up on s private Air Force One style airship to this extremely important political marriage? Maybe it is all explained, I dunno. But it’s a very odd setup where people are just kinda giving you odd jobs and you’re waiting around for some ferry while time is of the essence. Heck, the Regalia breaks down at the start of the game! Noctis’ dad can’t even give them a top of the line, fully functional vehicle to get to this wedding engagement? Did Noctis even pack any wedding clothes? Will it all be there when he gets there? Why did his dad address him so formally from a throne before sending him off when there was no audience to observe it? Tradition? Why is Cindy wearing an impractical run way model/exotic dancer getup when she’s supposed to be working with potentially dangerous mechanical parts? Why is no one else dressed like her? When your car breaks down, why don’t you have any money even though you’re the prince of the kingdom? Why are you so ill prepared for this trip?

      Maybe this all gets explained, but, man, FF15’s cold opening is almost as baffling as FF13’s, except where in 13 you’re assaulted with a bunch of incoherent information, in FF15 you’re given basically nothing at all to understand the context of the situation.

      • ArtificerEd

        Yup, all gets pretty well-explained (easier setup if you watch Kingsglaive, arguably), but I’ll try to tick some answers without blowing the story (SPOILER ALERT, just to be safe).

        The Regalia didn’t break down, the guys didn’t pay attention to the fuel gauge and botched the engine in the process. Totally their fault — this is why you don’t give your son your favorite car.

        All the wedding and being sent out alone are answered in one go: Regis (Noctis’s dad) knew what was happening and what was bound to unfold well before the four had any inkling. If you want your son out of a city without a fuss or suspicion, what’s easier? “Go on ahead without me and have some fun” or “here’s a contingent of soldiers! No, of course I don’t think the empire’s going to back out on peace talks and kill everyone, why would you even say that?” The boys are ill-prepared because everything is about to go very bad very fast and Regis wants them out immediately.

        Part of me thinks Cindy started as near parody and was kept just to stick it to all the people who spent the last two years bitching about her. And Insomnia uses a separate currency (also discussed in the game).

        It’s not ideal, but 15 has been releasing information (Kingsglaive, Brotherhood, trailers and videos) for almost 2 full years now. It’s definitely helpful to watch that stuff either first or early on in your play time, as it explains damn near everything, but the story is something you collect over time, as well.

        It’s a matter of preference, in that sense; I enjoy scavenging for story information and starting from a point of loss, then learning from there. That’s not for everyone, being dropped in the deep end and forced to fight to where you can stand without drowning, but it’s something I’m admittedly partial to and biased in favor of.

        • suburban_samurai

          I concede, my ignorance of the story is undeniable! It still seems like a backwards way to keep his kid safe, but I’ll defer to the King’s judgement. I do intend to play through the game, although as big open world RPGs go, I’m planning on diving deeper into Witcher 3 before I take on more FF15. There’s something about that rugged Geralt charisma!

          • ArtificerEd

            Ah, wasn’t looking for a concession, was trying to draw in one more potential fan!

            It’s interesting you mentioned Witcher 3 (enjoy the deeper dive, that’s a game/series I cannot run out of discussion material with), because King Regis made me think of… well, Regis!… in terms of a man having to and being able to make unsavory decisions that will knowingly lead to calculated loss, with tragically misunderstood (but ultimately good and higher) goals in mind.

  • Da’Zlein


  • Sunwu

    The first kill is the deepest!! Ejiro I know the first kill is the deepest!

  • Insane Disciple

    Who’s the pretty boy?

  • Insane Disciple

    Shitty old monkey 9 finger man!!!

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