Genocide is typically frowned upon, but Wataros disagree… (Except for Yori and Genchu…)
MoveAlongCitizen
Like, in refusing to be your tool for political advancement, for example.
Awkward Juice Man.
Yeah!!
charles81
Text changes information: I’m struggling to remember it correctly but I believe that Nataku’s support of Eijiro was based around a dislike of the treaty with the Senshin clan who he deemed weaker. Presumably Nataku was unaware of Hirotomo’s further plans to assassinate Masuhiro but maybe you want to turn it back to a dislike of Yori as a leader now.
The problem is that this conversations starts out on the previous page with regards to Masuhiro’s disappearance and Eijiro’s hiring of the Ninja clan to capture him. Of course, he also hired them to kill Yori but it doesn’t feel like it flows well into that here. Nataku reveals he knows of the Ninja hired and their relation to the disappearance of Masuhiro on the previous page and then Eijiro is suddenly mentioning that Nataku’s figured out they were hired to kill Yori.
Also without the mention that they dislike the Senshin clan and are unaware of the assassination plan, the kidnapping of Masuhiro makes no sense as something for Eijiro to do and Nataku to support. I feel you could more easily cover the later revelation that Yori was to kill the Senshin leader by having Yori, somehow, state in those pages that his father was so paranoid he had shared it with none of his generals.
jwkovell
Clarifications made on pages 267, 268, 269, and 285.
Thanks!
charles81
Rockin! works well. Eijiro’s talking only a few pages earlier anyway to confirm that he ordered the Ninja to Kill Yori and no longer needs them now that his father has sent the DoS. I also like how you removed the texts that suggested the Ninja clan would continue to pursue Yori for their own revenge (removed earlier, I know).
MoveAlongCitizen
So, do you get nitpicky people like this all the time or is it just the one guy?
charles81
LOL, a year ago you made this comment, I know but the creators did a huge revamp of the comic pages to better fit for book pages and adjusted dialogue, mostly to relate to the new ending they had scripted and the new tone of the story which was much less slap-stick than previously.
They asked people to go through the pages and spot any issues. I had been a relatively long-time reader and by chance, had done a read through all the archives before they were updated, so I was able to comment with good knowledge of how the original pages were arranged and the intended ending. So I went through, as they requested, and made all my comments for them to adopt, ignore or use at their leisure.
http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
And it was very appreciated!
TheCatCameBack
That cocky: “Well I’m glad you understand.” and then the heel-turn-
“DOES MY FATHER KNOW?” O_O
