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Doof’d again! come on, Ken, all these ladies keep smacking you the face. Stand up for yourself, you’re an independent entrepreneur!

So I’ve been watching classic Sailor Moon on Hulu, and I just want to go over Prince Endymion’s recap of ‘future history’ to the time travelling sailor scouts, purely to illustrate how hilariously nonsensical it is. See, I’m at the part in the series where the evil Black Moon Clan is trying to corrupt Tokyo with dark energy (apparently a common theme in each story arc). The Sailor Scouts and Tuxedo Mask have discovered, through Chibi Usa, that the Black Moon Clan have devastated Crystal Tokyo, the 30th century version of Tokyo that she’s come back in time from. So Chibi Usa opens some gate of time thing and they go into the future where they end up encountering a hologram of Prince Endymion, who reveals (SHOCK) that he is the future incarnation of Tuxedo Mask! And that his wife, Princess Serenity, is, in fact, the future incarnation of Sailor Moon! Of course this is all PAINFULLY obvious to everyone watching the show, but even the super hyper intelligent Sailor Mercury didn’t see it coming. Anyway, Endymion then tells everyone the events of the future.

So there was apparently an ice age, and for ten centuries the Earth was frozen. But Princess Serenity, who, I suppose, was not frozen, used the silver crystal to unfreeze the Earth, magically create a newer, more crystally Tokyo, called Crystal Tokyo, and reign supreme as benevolent dictator. But then, I guess evil creatures attacked, or something? And Serenity banished them to the 10th planet in the solar system (well, 9th now since Pluto’s no longer a planet, sorry Sailor Pluto…). The creatures then evolved (surprisingly quickly!) to become dark energy beings who call themselves THE BLACK MOON CLAN. The BMC then attacks Crystal Tokyo with their evil Crystal Ships, and the future Sailor Scouts have to encase poor Princess Serenity (who, for whatever reason, is unable to repel the BCM, even though she somehow had the power to banish them to another planet originally, as well as END AN ICE AGE) in a giant crystal block of carbonite. Also, Serenity and Endymion’s daughter, Chibi Usa, having heard stories from her father about the invincible, totally rad SAILOR MOON (who he neglected to mention was also her mother), decides to run away to the past to get Sailor Moon’s help in saving her mother, who is also Sailor Moon! Confused yet? Well, it’s not confusing, it’s mostly just ridiculous.

ANYWAY, I just set that all up for the purpose of pointing out this bizarre thing Endymion decided to do. So he is somehow able to telepathically contact both his younger self AND Serenity’s younger self. It’s not explained how, but he sends scary prophetic visions to Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon showing how if they get together the world will be brought to ruin, in an attempt to scare them apart from one another. LUCKILY (or perhaps inevitably) Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask decide to stay together,but only AFTER a lengthy segment where Tuxedo Mask breaks up with Sailor Moon for no given reason, causing her untold amounts of emotional trauma. I guess Tuxedo Mask didn’t feel like Sailor Moon needed or deserved an explanation? Well, whatever, because their true love overcame! And this was apparently Endymion’s intention because he needed to be CERTAIN that their love was strong enough to overcome the eventual challenge of facing the BMC in the future.

WAIT WHAT? Okay, so Endymion needed to know if HIS PAST SELF had the the proper level of true love for Sailor Moon necessary to fight the BMC? Why would HE need to test for that in his past self? Wouldn’t he already know if his past self were ready, seeing as how he lived it? Or is this a reincarnation thing where he doesn’t have those memories, even though Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon have memories of their past selves? And if Endymion DID know that his younger self was ready, was he doing it because he remembered it happening that way and therefore he had to do it again? WAIT, BUT IF HE DIDN’T DO IT isn’t it possible it might change the future for the better since he now has a for sure way of altering the future by not taking action on something that could be potentially bad? OR MAYBE HE WANTED TO GET HIS YOUNGER SELF TO BREAK UP WITH SAILOR MOON so that he could prevent this evil future, except that the Black Moon Clan’s origin didn’t in any way connect with their relationship and therefore breaking it off would only ensure that Chibi Usa wasn’t born BUT MAYBE THAT WAS THE PLAN because Chibi Usa is an awful child that would be the embarrassment of any parent! But then she wouldn’t be able to go back in time to pull Sailor Moon and company into the future to fight the BMC!!!

Anyway, my point is, Sailor Moon doesn’t make any sense. It is hilarious, though, so it gets my personal recommendation! Honestly, though, the animation holds up super well, and, man, that groovy soundtrack!!

Published on March 15, 2015 by Alex Kolesar

Flaming Squirrel

(Gets back up)
“Nataku, when did you get so… boobey?”
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  Understandable, Flaming Squirrel! I am trying totes hard to figure out a schedule where I can get two pages out a week. Partly I need to because I promised several extra update pages for the kickstarter, and also because I really want the story to move forward faster. We’ll see what happens!
  - Flaming Squirrel
    
    You’ve got a talent for making conversations realistic, but still interesting. As a writer myself, I know firsthand how hard that can be. You deserve a cookie. A really big one. And a gigantic sword to cut it with.
  - Fullmetalpanic
    
    Well as much as I am looking forward to the new page every weekend, I’m always very happy with the quality …well… as you said before, you find it hard to do a poorer job than you’re able to do…
    I can relate to that…not an artist like you, but cook over here…used to work in a top notch restaurant, 18h/ day roughly, payment was pretty good… though if i’d calculate the wage/hour i’d have to jump in front of the next train *cough*
    Anyway, at times you could do stuff in a more simple way and no one would even notice, but you still don’t do it, because YOU would know…I know that kind of feeling…
    
    If you really want to go for twice the pages I’d be the last one to complain, but it might mean you really have to compromise a bit more?
    Burning yourself out in the end won’t do any good either after all
    - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
      
      Full Metal Panic! Geez, I wish that show had gotten further seasons after 2nd Raid, it was sooo good.
      
      I think I just need to stay conscious of how much detail I’m putting into a panel. If it’s a small, or unimportant panel, it’s not going to need all the highlights and such. I need to know where to go all out and where to hold back to save time. It’d probably also help make the pages look more visually dynamic if there are one or two specific panels that pop out with detail for emphasis while the others are a bit simpler. It’s a lot to keep track of, but if I can make stuff like that second nature, I could potentially cut down each page’s creation by a couple hours.
      - Fullmetalpanic
        
        Yep, fmp did a lot of stuff right. Made me laugh a lot. But I also did like the more serious story arcs
      - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
        
        Yeah! I just really felt like FMP 2nd Raid was the perfect balance of action, comedy, and drama for me. It was my kind of story telling and I was SUPER into it. And it left some plot threads hanging in a way that I assumed would lead into a third season, but no luck!
      - Fullmetalpanic
        
        Yeah…had me pretty darn addicted It is rare to have balance and pacing this good. I still go back to it at times…and yes, there def were some loose ends…
        
        On the other hand, I feel a lot of good stuff gets ruined when dragged out too much…so maybe it was for the best they stopped there…XD
- charles81
  
  Why the bloody hell not? Every other flamin’ mug and his dog and his blasted dog’s fleas can claim aussiehood… unless you’re one of them cover jokers, in which case ya can bugger off.
  - Flaming Squirrel
    
    Don’t forget the croikies… They’re aussie too.
- IDPounder
  
  Thanks a lot, Squirrel. Now I can’t get the image of Nataku with boobs in a dress out of my head. Maybe he and Ken could do kabuki together?
  - Flaming Squirrel
    
    I’m just here to help
    - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
      
      oh GODS MY EEEEEYYYYYYEEEEESSSSS!!!!!
      - Flaming Squirrel
        
        Just so you know, dude, I draw the line at Nataken.
charles81

Cheese Doodle anybody?
http://www.zapcomic.com/ Pascalle Lepas

DOOF(us)!
- IDPounder
  
  Aw! Beat me to it.
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  He really doof’d up.
- Ryan
  
  We thought Matrix was going to knock him out with poisoned FOOD, but instead she used DOOF.
  - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
    
    What a backwards world we live in!
  - Flaming Squirrel
    
    I hear this when I read the sound effect.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6dqcFMWzqk
leavescat

I’m guessing this is where Ken realizes his sword is impractical against anyone who knows how to fight. Hell, even Yori could have won the first encounter if he didn’t show off and stand on the sword (not that Yori’s actually incompetent, but still). It works great for mowing down mooks, but he’s gotten his ass handed to him by basically everyone with actual skill. He has superhuman strength, but it’d be better put to use with a somewhat more reasonable sword (perhaps a Zweihänder).
- Fullmetalpanic
  
  quite the opposite, if japanese pop culture teaches us anything it is that he needs a BIGGER SWORD!!!
  - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
    
    Maybe he’ll start dual wielding zanbatou.
  - Xinef
    
    Well, he could try something like Sephiroth’s sword – just maybe a little longer 😛
- Flaming Squirrel
  
  I can’t help but think that with a smaller sword, Ken could take all the muscle he was using just to hold his sword and put it into his swings. If you thought KADOOSH was impressive, imagine what all that extra power would do for his attacks.
  - leavescat
    
    Hell, he could just move to the Buster Sword and be more practical. Or, dual-wield Ragnell and Alondite.
    - Ryan Showalter
      
      Bonus points for FE reference. Dual wielding those would be unfair to anyone, except the audience.
      - leavescat
        
        Funny thing is, if I remember correctly, the original owner of the swords DID dual-wield them. Ike one-hands the sword so he’s not incapable; he just didn’t train in that style of swordplay.
        
        As a plus, Ken would gain invisible armor and the ability to use sword-beams.
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  SHHHHH!
KungFuKlobber

Ka-doof!
tyersome

Nice that she allowed him a little anesthetic before she began pommeling him … I was a little confused as to how she was passing for a ninja, but I guess she’s so convincing because she plays the role to the hilt?
- Sam DunKley
  
  Heh. “Pomell”ing. That be funnier if Japanese swords had pommels.
  - tyersome
    
    I guessed that someone would point that out, but since it turns out that pommel is an alternative spelling of pummel anyway I decided to follow through on my weak stab at humor anyway …
  - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
    
    Pun disaster averted! Everyone can take a deep breath.
    - Ryan
      
      Everyone who hasn’t had the wind pommeled out of them.
    - psYcHOticHiCKeN
      
      Ken was almost the BUTT of a joke and PUNished at the same time.
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  Perhaps that was her real plan, although Ken’s maybe not that easily affected by alcohol.
TheMeddler

I don’t think it’s that they re insane. I think they just got to know you.
- Kid Chaos
  
  Just like me, they long to be
  Close to yoooooouuuu…
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  Ken has quite the effect on women.
Astralfury

It turns out that she rates her chances pretty highly, Ken.
Fullmetalpanic

I slowly seem to understand how his clan really came to be extinct ….
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  YA BURNT, KEN!
- Da’Zlein
  
  Ludicrously oversized weapons or being really bad with women?
  - Internet_Zen_Master
    
    …….Both?
- Xinef
  
  And the reason Nataku defeated (almost) all Daisuke? He has a stronger chin (and a beard!), so he is able to resist faceblocks like that :]
  
  Quite obvious, once you look at the other surviving Daisuke – Genchu also has a strong chin and a beard!
Sam DunKley

…what the hell is everybody’s sword made of, anyway? Adamantium? R.D.Z. should have snapped that thing in half, or at least bent it a little.

…wait, that was a block. Nevermind, Matix’s implied point stands.
- Brandenfascher
  
  IRL, steel swords are usually made to bend in roughly a 45 degree arc without staying bent or breaking, so unless he managed to bend it further than that, the sword should be fine. At least for European swords; I’m not sure about katana, or dai-katana for that matter.
  - Xinef
    
    I’m not an expert, but from what I know, a katana was made mostly of soft low-carbon steel, to make it more elastic, with only the sharp edge being made of high-carbon steel. Also, Japanese swords were usually shorter than their European equivalents, to make them less likely to break. From what I’ve heard, Japanese iron ore was generally of lower quality than European, but their steel processing techniques could rival Damascus.
    
    So, I would expect blocking a heavy attack to likely damage the sharp edge of the sword, but it should be unlikely to break the blade altogether. Though bending 45 degrees doesn’t matter much when you block near the hilt/tsuba.
    
    I should mention though, that due to the use of a zanbatou, the unknown strength of Ken, the possible use of futuristic technology by Matrix, the fact she plays on cheats, and my inexperience in the matter, I would expect my predictions to be accurate at most within a margin of error of about +- 10e42.
    - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
      
      Never tell me the odds!
      - Xinef
        
        I’m glad I told you the evens then ^_^
Ryan Showalter

If his sword fell that fast, that means they were pushing against each others swords. In other words, she’s as strong as ken physically.
- Brandenfascher
  
  Or stronger, perhaps?
- charles81
  
  Flipside explanation to the rescue: http://flipside.keenspot.com/comic.php?i=149
  So the general gist is that she simply used tactics by coming in low and blocking close to the hilts of both his and her own sword which significantly reduced his leverage. Maybe the lesson will be about understanding some of these basic physics instead of a heart to heart about Yumiko.
  - Ryan
    
    Well, it takes away Ken’s leverage, but it doesn’t take away the inertia of that giant sword. So she still has to absorb as much kinetic energy in an instant to as he imparted to the sword through his entire swing. And actually, blocking close to the hilt gives the sword’s own mass more leverage against her. And she blocked with the strength only one hand. So both she and her sword would appear to be incredibly strong, at least an order of magnitude stronger than Ken.
    - psYcHOticHiCKeN
      
      The giant sword can not have the density of solid steel/iron. It must have less mass than styrofoam or Kento would not be able to stand up.
- leavescat
  
  Looks more like Ken did an overhead swing, she sidestepped and used her sword to push his sideways, then smacked him in the face. She didn’t overpower him, she made him miss. He had so much momentum from his swing that he couldn’t recover, which is of course exactly what she’s trying to tell him.
  - Fullmetalpanic
    
    Right He clearly did not play enough monsterhunter, else he’d know how to handle the sword better XD
    - Da’Zlein
      
      Shield and spear for life man!
  - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
    
    This is what happened, he was pushing back against her blade, and she just directed the force of his push into the ground by angling her blade.
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  She may be stronger WHO KNOWS.
- Xinef
  
  Or… the time was just paused while they were talking, as usual in comics (or media in general), so they weren’t really pushing the swords against each other. The “fwip!” happened right after the “shreeenk!” and anything we see in-between is just exposition.
  
  And Matrix, as usual, breaks the rules, interrupting exposition and un-pausing time, while Ken is talking.
Hfar

And to just think, all that time traveling confusion in Sailor Moon could have probably been avoided if they had just set up a live camera feed to keep an eye on these beasties. Sure there would have been something like a six hour delay but it would’ve still been better than nothing. And it would’ve allowed the Outer Shenshin to, y’know, do their job.
- Kid Chaos
  
  Chibi USA is not awful! BAKA!!!
  - http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
    
    What part of her is not awful, exactly? Probably not her constant need to hate everyone around her, run away, freak out and attract all the enemies to her location, endangering her and everyone else’s lives pretty much every episode. Also, she totes crushes on her father’s younger self hard, which is a tad creeper, but I guess Mamoru is super irresistible to women, so can you really blame her, even though she is a freakin 8 year old?
    - Kid Chaos
      
      Well, Mamo-chan *does* wear a tuxedo an awful lot, and God knows those domino masks are sexy…
- http://www.nn4b.com suburban_samurai
  
  Once again, isn’t Sailor Mercury supposed to be a genius? She does not seem to have the forward thinking vision of a genius… Or maybe she ran the idea by Serenity, who was like “oh, yeah, I mean I guess we’ll get to that whenever!” and promptly forgot to get to it.
  - Hfar
    
    Honestly I can see that happening. Sometimes one has to wonder if putting Serenity in a administrative position was the wisest of choices…
Da’Zlein

*Thunk*
Wait, is that sword hollow? It would suddenly seem like a less ridiculous… well, more lift-able weapon at least….
Zero Xae’ith

Bidoof.

. . . . . . . I’m so sorry! I couldn’t help myself!

:;(∩´﹏`∩);:
purplelibraryguy

Wait–his sword has inertia?!
- Kid Chaos
  
  An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.
Gregor the grape

The face on panel 3 can only be described as: “well… Fuck.”
MadHatter084

Have I ever told you, that Ken kinda resembles me of Zoro from anime One Piece? They both have this weird and lazy personality and they both loves to fight so much xD
Neska

Well, Ken does need a lesson in tactics . . .

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