in a lot of ways, dude.
Like, y’know, being against genocide.
Genocide is typically frowned upon, but Wataros disagree… (Except for Yori and Genchu…)
Like, in refusing to be your tool for political advancement, for example.
Text changes information: I’m struggling to remember it correctly but I believe that Nataku’s support of Eijiro was based around a dislike of the treaty with the Senshin clan who he deemed weaker. Presumably Nataku was unaware of Hirotomo’s further plans to assassinate Masuhiro but maybe you want to turn it back to a dislike of Yori as a leader now.
The problem is that this conversations starts out on the previous page with regards to Masuhiro’s disappearance and Eijiro’s hiring of the Ninja clan to capture him. Of course, he also hired them to kill Yori but it doesn’t feel like it flows well into that here. Nataku reveals he knows of the Ninja hired and their relation to the disappearance of Masuhiro on the previous page and then Eijiro is suddenly mentioning that Nataku’s figured out they were hired to kill Yori.
Also without the mention that they dislike the Senshin clan and are unaware of the assassination plan, the kidnapping of Masuhiro makes no sense as something for Eijiro to do and Nataku to support. I feel you could more easily cover the later revelation that Yori was to kill the Senshin leader by having Yori, somehow, state in those pages that his father was so paranoid he had shared it with none of his generals.
Clarifications made on pages 267, 268, 269, and 285.
Rockin! works well. Eijiro’s talking only a few pages earlier anyway to confirm that he ordered the Ninja to Kill Yori and no longer needs them now that his father has sent the DoS. I also like how you removed the texts that suggested the Ninja clan would continue to pursue Yori for their own revenge (removed earlier, I know).
So, do you get nitpicky people like this all the time or is it just the one guy?
That cocky: “Well I’m glad you understand.” and then the heel-turn-
“DOES MY FATHER KNOW?” O_O